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Welcome to Amanda Green’s website

My Alien self my journey back to me Amanda Green e book cover march 2012 My name is Amanda Green (pseudonym), I was born and live in England, UK,  and I set up this website and wrote two memoirs and one self-help book to share with my readers the stories of my issues with mental illness, therapy and recovery. I also write thought provoking, inspiring fiction with the theme of overcoming adversities (abuse, homelessness, mental health, relationships and more)

Join my MAILING LIST‘ by clicking the link on the right hand side of this website.

Subscribe to Amanda Green author by email and you will receive an email each time I publish a new article to the site, to keep you up to date.

I regularly post blogs about coping strategies, inspirational things to do, Borderline Personality disorder, depression, Obsessive compulsive disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety/panic attacks, thyroid issues, eating disorders (Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia), alcohol and drug abuse, sexual abuse/rape, Quetiapine (Seroquel anti-psychotics) and Citalopram (anti-depressant), therapies such as Cognitive behavioural therapy and paranoia, dissociation and psychosis – all of which I have experienced in one way or another either myself or those I know.  Also info on mental health charities, forums,  campaigns, the stigma surrounding mental illness, some of my personal experiences, celebrities with mental health issues and mental health in the family.

My logo is a locked box and this is because one of the main things I had to do to heal myself was to deal with adverse things that have happened to me in my past and my aim was to put them in a ‘pandoras box’, close the lid on them and lock them away, so that I could forgive and forget the past and concentrate on the future.

Amanda Green pandora box logo

Amanda Green pandora box logo

I realised that holding onto the past was harming me in the present time and it had to stop. Therefore, I decided this would be an apt logo for me to share and be recognised with. Plus green is for ‘go’ (‘go for it’ I thought) and is also my pen name.

You will see the main feature on the ‘My Alien Self : My Journey Back to Me’ book cover is a keyhole in keeping with the locked away bad memories theme…

Read about my book  My Alien Self – My Journey Back To Me by CLICKING HERE. To view or purchase any of my books click on the links to Amazon on the right.  Both memoirs are available as paperback and all are on kindle, but the GREAT news is that you do not need a Kindle reader to read kindle books Find out more by CLICKING HERE

I have also added a sample of my writing – see it by CLICKING HERE  and a small piece from my book about my mum and dad – CLICK HERE 🙂

My personal website is SandraMDean …….Continue reading Welcome to Amanda Green’s website…

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Book signings, confidence, radio interviews, support, special guests, mental health, anxiety and inspiration!

Me at the Essex Author Extravaganza

Me at the Essex Author Extravaganza

The Essex Author Extravaganza went really well at the weekend! I nearly didn’t go, I nearly didn’t do the radio interview, but I did both.

I was in a bit of a state over the radio interview, but told EVERYONE I could that I was doing it, as that made me commit to doing it. I would have been embarrassed if I had dropped out, even though there would be no need to be. I was SO nervous and anxious, so had to counsel myself and use all my coping skills to get through. It is all about fear of the unknown, but once I was in the radio studio with Tony Fisher at BBC Essex, he said it would just be like we are having a chat, and he was right. He was so easy to talk to I was really enjoying myself in the end! And they said they would like to have me back in for another interview! 🙂 We talked about the book signing event in Southend, Essex, mental health, mindfulness, my books and self-publishing. To listen in to the radio show CLICK HERE and slide the time to 03.15 towards the end of the programme.

Then the weekend came round and the Essex Author Extravaganza! It set up my table happily and then I felt out of place being so different in genre to everyone else, and it was a challenge but I had my lovely man, Michael with me, and friends’ support before the event.

It was my first signing, but yesterday, when it was a quiet, I was able to go meet many fellow authors, and found some lovely people along the way. My only regret was that I didn’t get to meet everyone – time just ran out. Plus, near the end I was blessed with two wonderful ladies who had heard me on the radio Wednesday and came to meet me especially. So, here is our photo. I take photos every day of the week, yet have so few of the weekend due to shyness.

I also met lovely readers who bought my books for various reasons and that was a real boost. So, I wish I had a load …….Continue reading Book signings, confidence, radio interviews, support, special guests, mental health, anxiety and inspiration!…

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Listen out for me on BBC Essex radio 3pm Wednesday 22nd June 2016 and find me at the Essex Author Extravaganza, Cliffs Pavilion, Southend-on-sea, Essex! 25th and 26th June 2016

Amanda Green (Sandra Dean) Author

Amanda Green (Sandra Dean) Author

I am very pleased to announce my radio interview will be on Wednesday 22nd June on BBC Essex at 3pm. I will be talking to Tony Fisher about books, writing, mental health, and the Essex book signing event! Exciting stuff! I’m really looking forward to seeing the studios and meeting Tony et al. I might even talk about finishing my Counselling Diploma and my Life Writing workshops!

I am nervous, I have to admit, but I do have to challenge myself!

The Essex Author Extravaganza at the Cliffs Pavilion, Southend-on-sea, Essex is on Saturday 25th and Sunday 26th June 2016, and tickets can be bought through ‘Eventbrite’ Please CLICK HERE to go to the site to purchase your tickets. For Sunday tickets, use code sunday10off to get half price tickets at just £10.

I will have my own table, with four of my books on sale at the event. Books will be limited, so if you are coming and would like your book(s) signed it is advisable to buy it (them). To buy on Amazon UK CLICK HERE and to buy on Amazon.com CLICK HERE Alternatively, I will have a sign-up sheet at the event where you can pre-order them with me and I will send them to your address, signed by me.

It’s my first ever signing event, but I do feel I have my table organised. There will be pens and sweets and stuff to …….Continue reading Listen out for me on BBC Essex radio 3pm Wednesday 22nd June 2016 and find me at the Essex Author Extravaganza, Cliffs Pavilion, Southend-on-sea, Essex! 25th and 26th June 2016…

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Endings, attachment and moving on

“I’m not good at endings”. Oh how many times I have said this, but today I realise that I am actually a lot better at them than I used to be. I guess part of it is that I am older, have more wisdom and experience and have had to get through a lot of endings, whether they were of my choice or out of my control.

  • Death of a significant other
  • Severing friends and family relationships of my own accord
  • Finishing personal therapies, especially a group therapy
  • Finishing colleges
  • Finishing school all that time ago
  • Friends and family moving away or to another country
  • Leaving jobs
  • End of personal relationships – being dumped, dumping the other person, falling out…

Whether we make the choices ourselves, or another makes them for us, endings are still hard.

We get attached to people and places, and may miss them or feel angry about them.

We can also get attached to inanimate objects, which we are sad about if we lose them or have them taken from us. Theft can create a huge loss in our hearts, especially if it’s something personal to us or that is something that belonged to a significant other.

So how do we deal with loss and attachment? …….Continue reading Endings, attachment and moving on…

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It’s Mental Health Awareness week, 16th to 22nd May 2016; read my memoir and self-help book for FREE

16th to 22nd May 2016 is Mental Health Awareness Week.

Now, I have been writing about, campaigning about, suffering from, and recovering from, mental health issues for many years now, and have a multitude of blog posts on this site, so I will invite you to take a look around via the categories on the left side for Mental Health Awareness Week this year.

I am also giving away the kindle book versions of my sequel memoir, ’39’ (15th/16th May) and my self-help book ‘Living With Depression and Anxiety: 26 ways to get you out of the fog, into the sunshine’ (15th to 18th May). To download them FREE, just click on the links on the right hand side of this site, to take you to the Amazon pages, where you will find them free of charge.

Mental health is such an important part of our health, to ensure we live a content life, with good relationships, yet it can be hard to get the help, support and solutions needed. We must look after ourselves, push for help, but also take responsibility for ourselves if we can. If this is difficult, then seeking help is of utmost importance, whether from a doctor, counsellor, mental health charity or friends and family.

Take care 🙂

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Get to know me better… author interviews and blogging

I cuddle an orphan baby orangutan in Borneo

I cuddle an orphan baby orangutan in Borneo

Get to know me… Check out my latest two interviews:

GUM ON MY SHOE BLOG, CLICK HERE talking writing therapy, mental health, self publishing and much more…

And on Lisette Brodey’s WRITER’S CHATEAU, CLICK HERE talking memoir writing, coping with depression, mental health stigma, writing tips, Orangutans and more…

I highly recommend doing interviews on blogs,

I will be signing at the Essex Author Extravaganza on 25th and 26th June 2016, at the Cliffs Pavilion, Southend, Essex, and I really hope to see you there! 🙂  …….Continue reading Get to know me better… author interviews and blogging…

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I will be signing at the Essex Author Extravaganza at the Cliffs Pavilion, Southend-on-sea, Essex! 25th and 26th June 2016

Amanda Green paperbacks poster

Amanda Green paperbacks poster

I will be signing at the Essex Author Extravaganza at the Cliffs Pavilion, Southend-on-sea, Essex!

It’s on Saturday 25th and Sunday 26th June 2016, and tickets can be bought through ‘Eventbrite’ Please CLICK HERE to go to the site to purchase your tickets.

I will have my own table, with four of my books on sale at the event. Books will be limited, so if you are coming and would like your book(s) signed it is advisable to buy it (them). To buy on Amazon UK CLICK HERE and to buy on Amazon.com CLICK HERE 

I am very excited about the event, as it’s my first, I have ordered a banner, book stands, business cards and pens, so there’s lots of swag for you to get your hands on and take home. I will also have sweets, so if you do come, please do come over to pick up some bits, and
have a chat. I love a chat and meeting new people, so it will be great …….Continue reading I will be signing at the Essex Author Extravaganza at the Cliffs Pavilion, Southend-on-sea, Essex! 25th and 26th June 2016…

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How much alcohol is too much? The ‘tonight’ programme and my dry March continues

I watched the tonight programme last night on TV, about alcohol consumption and the new lower amounts set out in the guidelines of 14 units per week for women and men. They also gave a few facts:

No amount of alcohol is ‘safe’

One in ten people in the UK drinks the maximum weekly limit in just one day!

Drinking at home is the worst as it’s too easy to just keep pouring…

We need to have breaks in drinking alcohol; a few days of per week.

So, how am I getting on with Dry March?

It’s 18th March, and I did have a drink one night this week when on my own. I came face to face with a stressful situation and I just needed to relax. No excuse is a good excuse, but I don’t regret it. I had decided to have a drink that evening, and that evening alone, and I enjoyed it! And come the next day, I was back on the wagon. I haven’t even wanted a drink since. I feel so much better without it.

Now, I don’t plan on giving up drinking forever, as I enjoy it, but after my dry (all but one day) March, I am going to …….Continue reading How much alcohol is too much? The ‘tonight’ programme and my dry March continues…

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‘Living with Depression and Anxiety’ self-help book new cover and is now available as a paperback

'Living with Depression and Anxiety' Self-Help book cover

‘Living with Depression and Anxiety’ Self-Help book cover

I am very excited to launch my new book cover for my seventh book ‘Living with Depression and Anxiety; 26 ways to get you out of the fog, into the sunshine’ PLUS it is now available as a paperback as well as a kindle/e-book! 🙂

My hope is that this book will enable many people to take charge of themselves and overturn the negative symptoms depression and anxiety can bring.

I share my own 26 tips that have not only helped me to cope, but that I think will help everyone.

And long may I continue to create, write and help through my own experiences and thoughts on mental health and many other adversities life throws at us.

I am only a few months away from being a qualified counsellor, after nearly four years of college and placement, and I look forward to a future of using my empathy and own knowledge to aid others’ to better mental health as I have done myself. 🙂

Available on Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk and many other Worldwide Amazon sites!

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Diary of my one month off alcohol, blog two; days five to eight, plus some facts about regular or heavy drinking

Volcanic Lanzarote

Volcanic Lanzarote

Firstly, here’s a few more facts about heavy or regular drinking…

Alcohol is a depressant, which means it slows down the brain and the central nervous system’s processes.  Apparently, over time, heavy drinking interferes with the neurotransmitters in the brain that are needed for good mental health. It lowers the levels of serotonin in your brain – a chemical that helps to regulate your mood. Alcohol may help deal with stress in the short term, which I have found, but in the long run it can contribute to feeling of depression and anxiety and make stress harder to deal with. I totally relate to this. People who drink heavily are more likely to suffer from mental health problems. In Britain, people who experience anxiety or depression are twice
as likely to be heavy or problem drinkers. For some people, the anxiety or depression came first and they’ve reached for alcohol to try to relieve it. For others, drinking came first, so it may be a root cause of their anxieties

A person’s sex life can be affected negatively, with heavy drinking – experiencing less sexual sensitivity – and people can find they have changeable moods which can lead to arguments and social/interpersonal issues, especially with those close to them. Sleep may become disturbed, lethargy and tiredness may overcome a person, and a person may experience anxiety in situations where they are normally comfortable. Work performance can be affected, or the ability to be a caregiver to a child, leading to more problems, and so a person may drink to alleviate the stress… And so the vicious circle continues.

So, here’s my diary up to day eight.

Night five and I am feeling like having a drink. It has been relatively easy so far, but tonight I feel low. My ear issue from diving a few days ago is not getting better, despite being on anti-biotics, nasal steroid spray, ibuprofen and an expectorant. I am on holiday, in Lanzarote, the weather is fairly cold (albeit no-where near as cold as at home) rather than being sunny and warm as expected, and it’s very windy, which irritates my ear. I do not like where I am staying much as it’s a cold, damp uncomfortable room, people in the communal area outside our room are drinking wine and beer tonight and getting drunk (they kindly offered us wine too which made me feel even worse) and it’s rural and quiet, which would have been lovely but I am just not feeling it. The hotel we stayed at for the first 6 days was lovely in contrast and we had a couple of warm, sunny days.

I have been getting out each day, but all the wonderful walks and sights have been a little marred by my ear pain and concern about not being able to fly home because of it. As I write this I think I just feel rather negative! We’ve eaten great food and I can taste really well. Perhaps I should have a cigarette at some point because maybe doing drink and cigarettes at the same time is too much after so many years.

We could go out tonight, but I just don’t want to – I want to be at home and I am worried that my ear will not be better (it is blocked inside) to fly home on Monday. I have been to two hospitals in Lanzarote so far about my ear, and I must go tomorrow (Sunday) to find out if I can fly Monday or not. I do hope so! I miss my cats so much! And my home.

Talking of home, someone close to me got burgled a few days before we left to come here, and the day before we left I realised there were marks on my door and frame where someone had been trying to break in by prising the door open. They didn’t succeed, but it really worried me and didn’t start my holiday well. The police know about it, of course.

Strangely, last time we were in Lanzarote, our villa was burgled!

Stress has always made me want to have a drink, so it’s a tough one today, but I will not give in!

Despite all of this, Lanzarote is such a beautiful volcanic Island, driving round it does give us some spectacular sights, so I have added one to this blog.

Day six was easier, especially as my pain subsided. We had a lovely day out and went for dinner in a lovely, small restaurant. Michael nearly gave in to a cold beer as the man on the table next to us was enjoying a pint of lager. I wouldn’t give in, despite really wanting one, so we didn’t have one and once we got our delicious food it was fine. So that was me being strong, yay! We are eating mindfully, enjoying our food more than ever.

Day seven was easy as we were on the plane home and although one person near me was having a can of beer, everyone else was drinking tea and soft drinks, like us.

Day eight – I have lost weight! A kilo! And I put this down to walking a lot and no drinking, so this is even more of an incentive. I had a fantastic day counselling my clients, and our takeaway curry in the evening was not accompanied by beer but Pellegrino sparkling water with slices of lemon – mmm refreshing and delicious!

The amazing thing is that I have still not had a cigarette even though I hadn’t given up. I just keep thinking I will have one in a minute, and then don’t.

Day nine – this is my first day back on my own, since we stopped drinking, as Michael has now gone home, so this will be the real test – can I be alone, possibly feeling lonely, and not have a beer?

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My diary of my one month off alcohol, blog one, the first few days of dry March

When asked when I have had one day off drinking, I can name a few, but only a few. When asked when I have had two days consecutively off drinking, I can name one time in the last (at least) fourteen years, and that was when I had to stop in order to do the horrible purging of the bowel and gut for my colonoscopy, yuk! When asked when I have had three days consecutively off drinking, I just couldn’t say; not in the last fourteen years anyway and most likely quite a while before that too.

Now, I say, I have had an addiction to drink. I am not an alcoholic, but I have been drinking nearly every day, and that is no good, especially as I suffer with depression and anxiety and alcohol actually makes it worse. It is an addiction. And it’s time I took control.

So, here I am in Lanzarote, with Michael and we both decided to stop while we are here on holiday. A strange time to stop some would say (and have already) but for us, it’s the best time. It’s away from the normal routine of home, we are together here for the first few days of our month’s sobriety (we live apart at home), we are busy enjoying …….Continue reading My diary of my one month off alcohol, blog one, the first few days of dry March…

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