I am always promoting mindfulness and how to be ‘in the moment’, but today I tried another exercise – Being mindful about
what I can remember from the last week in terms of sight, sound, smell, taste and touch. It has worked well for me, in order to be in touch with recent goings on so maybe it will work for you…
Sight – aerial views out of the aeroplane window, beautiful Cambridge, crowds of people in shorts and dresses, ice cream melting down the cone, sun and blue skies, my cat, hamster and fish, Michael’s face and hair, rain, lightening, clouds, mum’s blue eyes crying, the injury on her head, elderly residents in care homes, frail, disabled and sad looking or smiling, care workers laughing with kind faces, green trees and beautiful flowers of all colours…
Sound – the hum of the aeroplane, people speaking across the radio into my headphones, an elderly woman shouting ‘help!’ over and over in the care home my mum is now living in, birds singing outside my bedroom window, the dustbin cart and crashing of bins being emptied, flies buzzing in the house (ugh!), Titus purring rhythmically, music and chatter on the radio, tv programmes, hairdryers and chatter in
Sandra and Titus Dean
the hairdressers, buzzing electrical instruments in the dentist, car horns, alarm clock, cooking timer, mum crying, mum telling me she prefers my hair blonde, mum moaning I don’t do enough, mum wanting to know why her husband doesn’t want her anymore…
Smell – Urine and air freshener in care homes, musty old smells, obnoxious effluvia’s, baked potatoes, sumptuous fruits of red wine, smelly bins in the heat, the fresh smell Titus brings in from outside in his fur, Indian food, garlic, deodorant, fish and chips…
Taste – fish and chips with salt and vinegar, creamy ice creams, lemonade, lager, white wine, red wine, garlic bread, salmon and cucumber sandwiches…
Touch – My cat’s soft fur, my hamster’s even softer fur, Titus walking over me in bed to wake me up, heat!!! My fan blowing a breeze at me, the air conditioning in my car, wind blowing through the car with the windows down, sweaty body, aching back, aching ankles and feet, headaches, my hair being washed and massaged, cold water showing over my body, a hot hairdryer on my head, alcohol relaxing my brain, …….Continue reading Mindfulness after the event; what can you remember in the past week?…
I am just starting my counselling course research project. I have chosen ‘creative art therapy’. Writing and
gotta keep smiling through adversity
Photography therapy will be my main subjects. I cannot wait to start as I have gained so much from writing and photography as self-help to overcome adversities in my own life since I was fourteen. I have written diaries, unsent letters, journals, blogs, memoir’s (published) and taken thousands of photographs to capture scenes, moods, expressions, views, good times, not so good times and my travels. I have a lot to give the project and look forward to reading all the research that has been done on a professional level. I had considered writing a self-help book about creative art therapy, so hope this will help me achieve that too.
I have kept a diary since I was fourteen. When I wrote in it, it was like telling a good friend, so it was a release, but because no-one would ever read them, I could write exactly what I wanted – how I really felt, thought, behaved, without worrying about anyone else’s bias ideas. I could also read diaries from the past and bring back memories, or use them to help me to understand past events.
I wrote unsent letters to people (alive or passed away), to tell them how I really feel about certain things. An unbiased, get it all out style with an almost formal approach to it, yet full of my emotions, thoughts and feelings, all laid out on the paper in the written word. Permanent, yet unsent. The person will never see the letter, yet it’s a great release to have written it.
I have, at times, drawn doodles, and I think a lot can be drawn from what and how you doodle – like a drawing from …….Continue reading Creative Art therapy, Writing therapy, unsent letters, photography, drawing, PTSD, trauma, anxiety, Depression, Dementia, Alzheimer’s, relationships, self-esteem……
Yep, it’s another rhyming ditty/poem thing…
my echium pininanna
Six weeks today, my mum fell down the stairs
I thought this time, supporting her, was more than I could bear
But she came out of ICU, trauma ward, and now can walk
Even though she is slow, needs a Zimmer frame, and lots of support
But, I got her in a wheelchair yesterday, and took her for a spin
It broke up the day a bit; some fresh air and sun away from the ward’s din
But it was a day of hard assessments, I had to tell her life story
It wasn’t fun, it was about her needs, and in it there was no glory
For it’s all about funding, social workers, needs and ongoing care
Mental capacity tests, very difficult to watch, it was almost too much to bear
I broke down many times, sobbed and howled, but never in her presence,
Got to be strong, support her needs, but it was hard to get the essence…
over to her, that she needs a lot of help, from now on, to keep her safe …….Continue reading The worst day of my life, thus far, in my forty one years – mum and vascular dementia…
Britain’s Got Talent has finished now. It cheered me up and now I feel low again. I hate dementia and Schizophrenia right now (I’m allowing myself to, just for today) – they seem to have ruined everything for mum. My poor mum (and dad) So much yet to do about mums future care and I have to be an adult and help sort it all out. Wish my three brothers did more the past couple of years. At least they visit mum in hospital at this time. I want to be a child again. This time right now is my worst nightmare I have dreaded happening for real for the past fifteen years. Using mindfulness and eating ice cream and tonnes of food is not working today. I am sure tomorrow will be a better day. Get good days and bad days, but mainly I am keeping very strong and living my life (which I find pretty amazing). xxx
And there was me saying I didn’t want to share my pain on-line; only inspiration! LOL that didn’t last long! Mind you this is a first, so I will forgive myself. I will get through this. I got through my own mental health issues, so maybe this won’t be any harder! Mmmmm, not sure.
Have you or anyone you know had a parent with Schizophrenia or Dementia or both?
“I am not worthy”
“Their needs are bigger than mine”
“I don’t have time!
“I don’t have spare money”
Just a few of the negative things we may say to ourselves when thinking about doing something for ourselves. Thinking like this can make us feel even more unworthy.
But, it’s not really good enough is it? We should look after ourselves and our minds.
If we don’t relax and give ourselves some time in our day, we might frazzle, burn out, get bored, resent others…
Now, as we know, some hobbies or things we may enjoy may take up quite a bit of time, such as boating, visiting art galleries or stately homes, hiking, judo, shopping, a college course in drawing, cooking or learning a language… but they could be very fulfilling.
On the other hand, if you are a very busy person already, you might try practising mindfulness, meditation or just sitting and giving yourself a few minutes to think of nothing. Often you will find that something random and interesting will come to mind. I find my creativity is at its peak and I find answers to things I have been worrying about, if I just …….Continue reading If in doubt, do things you enjoy…
OK here goes another ditty, poem, rhyme; whatever you want to call it. Don’t expect a great poem, just a little story about the
My plants May 2015
last three weeks and four days…
Three weeks, four days, it has passed so fast
Made me feel unreal at times, like I was wearing a mask
Mum was first in intensive care, it was really touch and go
Her lungs were punctured, atrial fibrulation; her heart was fast and slow
She looked so frail and small in bed, sedatives keeping her calm and asleep
We thought the worst, we thought too much, and many tears I did then weep
But she got through, and she was moved, the trauma ward, where she could rest
She was confused, teary and annoyed, she also felt like she was a pest …….Continue reading Three weeks and four days… Mum and being positive, a poem…
Behind Those Eyes front cover
I am very excited about re-launching ‘Behind Those Eyes’ a kindle book I published in 2014. Its new name is ‘Behind Those Eyes: Life on the streets of London’, it has a brand new cover, and is now available as a paperback as well as an e-book.
Aidana Willow designed the new cover; some links to it on her blogs can be viewed by CLICKING HERE and HERE and HERE (all open in a new window)
Check out the new cover on Amazon:
Amazon UK CLICK HERE
Amazon COM CLICK HERE
It’s full of twists and turns and hopefully the story will surprise you!
Storyline: Two homeless men, a successful brother and sister, a woman falling in love, a man with family problems, a policeman and a whole lot of twists in this ‘sliding doors’ style novella. It’s a story about people and adversity, love, friendship and stigma. Will you work out what they have in common?
It’s a work of fiction, but is my favourite of all my books so far, as researching and writing it was so very humbling and interesting. I now work with homeless people, and my message is the same as with mental health issues and elderly – do not judge or stigmatise. People become homeless for such a …….Continue reading Re-launching ‘Behind Those Eyes’ Life on the streets of London; re-edited, on paperback and with a new cover!…