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Welcome to Amanda Green’s website

My Alien self my journey back to me Amanda Green e book cover march 2012 My name is Amanda Green (pseudonym), I was born and live in England, UK,  and I set up this website and wrote two memoirs and one self-help book to share with my readers the stories of my issues with mental illness, therapy and recovery. I also write thought provoking, inspiring fiction with the theme of overcoming adversities (abuse, homelessness, mental health, relationships and more)

Join my MAILING LIST‘ by clicking the link on the right hand side of this website.

Subscribe to Amanda Green author by email and you will receive an email each time I publish a new article to the site, to keep you up to date.

I regularly post blogs about coping strategies, inspirational things to do, Borderline Personality disorder, depression, Obsessive compulsive disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety/panic attacks, thyroid issues, eating disorders (Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia), alcohol and drug abuse, sexual abuse/rape, Quetiapine (Seroquel anti-psychotics) and Citalopram (anti-depressant), therapies such as Cognitive behavioural therapy and paranoia, dissociation and psychosis – all of which I have experienced in one way or another either myself or those I know.  Also info on mental health charities, forums,  campaigns, the stigma surrounding mental illness, some of my personal experiences, celebrities with mental health issues and mental health in the family.

My logo is a locked box and this is because one of the main things I had to do to heal myself was to deal with adverse things that have happened to me in my past and my aim was to put them in a ‘pandoras box’, close the lid on them and lock them away, so that I could forgive and forget the past and concentrate on the future.

Amanda Green pandora box logo

Amanda Green pandora box logo

I realised that holding onto the past was harming me in the present time and it had to stop. Therefore, I decided this would be an apt logo for me to share and be recognised with. Plus green is for ‘go’ (‘go for it’ I thought) and is also my pen name.

You will see the main feature on the ‘My Alien Self : My Journey Back to Me’ book cover is a keyhole in keeping with the locked away bad memories theme…

Read about my book  My Alien Self – My Journey Back To Me by CLICKING HERE. To view or purchase any of my books click on the links to Amazon on the right.  Both memoirs are available as paperback and all are on kindle, but the GREAT news is that you do not need a Kindle reader to read kindle books Find out more by CLICKING HERE

I have also added a sample of my writing – see it by CLICKING HERE  and a small piece from my book about my mum and dad – CLICK HERE 🙂

My personal website is SandraMDean …….Continue reading Welcome to Amanda Green’s website…

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The basic philosophy of living; our needs, desires and what makes us tick and make our lives worth living – existentialism

The basics of existence and life

The basics of existence and life

I have been reading a little about Existential Theory and the philosophy of it, plus the whole concept of being genuine and a more authentic self. I find it fascinating and we can all gain something from it, so I have chosen to outline the highlights I find particularly interesting. Do not be put off by the harshness of the subjects – if we can understand and embrace the realities of life, we can become a more rounded, fulfilled person, rather than someone who hides in fear of reality. I feel that a lot of our pain is caused by our mere existence as below.

Death 

This is probably the harshest of all. As soon as we are born we are on our way towards death. As a child, we find out at some point or another and our naivety is challenged. Many of us then spend our lives denying the reality of death, or hiding from it, or finding deeper meaning to life and our ‘passing on’ fuelled by religious beliefs. We find ways to cope with the reality. If we do embrace it, however, we can seek to enjoy our lives and be more at peace with the notion.

Then there is the anxiety caused by the idea and realities of those close to us dying. We experience these things at different ages and must find our own way to grieve, but what about just the idea that a person will die? If we think about that too much, it could be very negative, so we hide the fact by ignoring it, finding a faith that allows us to believe better things will happen once we pass on, or we get sad about it. Some people even plan for it. My own father felt that most important to him is that he leaves enough money behind him to pay for his own funeral and my mum’s. When I was younger, I couldn’t talk about death at all, or any planning or wills with my dad, but now, as they get older and older, I have had to face it – the reality of it.

We plan for other things in our lives – holidays, work, meeting friends – in fact we are constantly making plans, but plans around death, for many, are taboo.

Freedom, which comes with responsibility

Oh, how we love to have our ‘freedom’ in life. We are born as individuals and do have the freedom of living our lives as we wish to quite a large degree. Sounds great, doesn’t it? But, with that freedom comes responsibility; we must make our own decisions and choices, we must make our own lives seem worthwhile to us, we must make our lives continue and enjoy or suffer the consequences of our own choices and actions.

So, essentially we do have freedom, and we think we want it, but sometimes that freedom is overwhelming and we …….Continue reading The basic philosophy of living; our needs, desires and what makes us tick and make our lives worth living – existentialism…

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How to be a more authentic self, and have more authentic relationships for better living

authentic-self

authentic-self

I have been researching the idea of being an ‘authentic self’ which is where we are true to ourselves and others, not covered up by our persona’s and fear of judgement from others’. This then led onto ‘authentic relationships’ which is where we have trustworthy, worthwhile, two-way relationships with people who do the same. Hard to come by sometimes nowadays, but the concepts are interesting and have fuelled me to strive towards both myself as they will save conflict, build trust, and make for better living. I do not feel either are totally achievable, but the ideas lead to some ways we can better ourselves and our relationships. One of the core things we need in life are good relationships and a good sense of self. I will be writing more about existential theory and our other needs in life soon, but until then, I shall share my learning and thoughts on being authentic first.

The ‘Authentic Self’

People pleasing, pretending to be nice, saying what we think people want to hear, amongst other things, are actually masking our authentic, true self. In this day-and-age, we tend to use ‘personas’ a lot where we act and communicate a certain way depending on who we are with. We might be more open and honest in a partner/marriage relationships than we do at work or with our family and we can end up having multiple personas, which is exhausting!

Do you use personas?

I am not saying their use is wrong. In fact, they can be helpful and self-protective in their nature, because we might keep with certain ethics with a person, or be politically correct with them. We might speak more clearly with people to make ourselves sound better, or pretend to be jolly and happy and successful when we are not. It is OK to be honest in the relationships that matter, so the goal is to decide which ones are important to you and work out how you can be more authentic with that person.

We spend our lives avoiding being judged by others’ but who are they to judge? We are all individuals and need to appreciate that we are all different. If we can be authentic then we can enjoy our own individuality and can grow as a person much more freely.

This does not mean we should let go of diplomacy and just tell everyone what we think because that is not always …….Continue reading How to be a more authentic self, and have more authentic relationships for better living…

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My new book release & a change of genre – MY LOVELY BOY – an adult only, graphic psychological thriller that comes with a warning

MY LOVELY BOY book cover

MY LOVELY BOY book cover

WOW, 3 x 5* reviews already for my new release book out for Halloween
99p – want to read?
Oh, this is different, VERY different to my other books; even though I am a multi-genre author. I have always wanted to write a psychological thriller, and after this one, I think I will write more. Writing twists and turns, using hints and deceit; it’s so exciting to write.
MY LOVELY BOY is dark, sinister, psychological and comes with a warning as it does contain scenes which some people may find upsetting.

‘Phoebe first meets her Great Auntie Val at her 19th birthday party.
The family are thrilled to have a new family member.
Then Phoebe meets Paul whom his mother calls ‘My Lovely Boy’
Life will never be the same again…’

Buy from Amazon UK
Buy from Amazon USA

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Personal boundaries – do you really know what they are, why you should have them or how they will protect you?

Personal Boundaries

Personal Boundaries

Do you know what a personal boundary is?

You might think of it as a way to cope with other people; a way to keep space between yourself and them. That would be right.

You might see it as a set of rules for dealing with a person. That would also be right.

We usually know all about the personal space we might want to have around us like an aura between ourselves and strangers in a queue or a crowd, so they don’t touch or bump into us for example. But, we also need personal ‘inner’ boundaries to deal with absolutely everyone – family, friends, acquaintances, work colleagues and managers, and lovers. Those are the boundaries that can protect us from being mistreated or taken advantage of by others. Or they might just be a way of internally knowing that you are only going to let another person or organisation, for example, do certain things that involve you. They are there to protect your wellbeing, and to ensure you can cope.

Sometimes we have them in place, subconsciously, but we can also manage them in our conscious thoughts too. …….Continue reading Personal boundaries – do you really know what they are, why you should have them or how they will protect you?…

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‘It could be worse’ poll, invalidation, and the results!

relationshipsI have just completed my first poll to see how people feel about certain things.

On this occasion, I asked this question:

If you are feeling ‘really’ bad about something in your life that affects YOU negatively’ (physically or emotionally) and someone says ‘It could be worse’ or ‘others suffer more’ does this:

A Help

B Not help?

C something else?

71 people (63 females/8 males) responded through Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn and here are the results: …….Continue reading ‘It could be worse’ poll, invalidation, and the results!…

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A bit of time off, a holiday, mindfulness, relaxation, getting stuff done – can I inspire you?

Since finally accepting my mum’s downward curve, mentally, and a few other stressful things, I decided to make a new start for myself. I wasn’t sure what, but new anyway.

I haven’t rushed. I decided to have a little holiday, at home. Time off from the usual. No counselling; nothing. And it has been amazing. I have got up when I wanted, without worrying about what I SHOULD be doing. I’ve cleaned my windows, had another clear out, cleaned my fish tank out, watched documentaries, been creative, watched films, and more than anything I have been mindful.

I had to keep pushing away the ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’ but on the whole, I have been mindful. I’ve eaten tasty, nutritious things, been looking after myself, thinking about what ‘I’ want to do rather than what anyone else might want me to do. And I have done things in a very relaxed way with no time schedule.

I even got to the swimming pool today. It’s so hot, I thought I could cool off, but it had just been closed due to chlorine issues, so I had a Jacuzzi and steam instead and got even hotter LOL!

Things I have had to do, like sorting more important stuff out, I have done without stress. I have driven more slowly …….Continue reading A bit of time off, a holiday, mindfulness, relaxation, getting stuff done – can I inspire you?…

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