BACP Registered member

Sandra Dean – Registered Member


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Just be yourself today, let it all go and show others who you really are! Crying and showing our emotions can be good

June flowers - my red lillies

June flowers – my red lillies

I was able to cry in front of mum and dad last night! It was the programme about the Sumatran Tigers ‘Tigers about the house’ that started it as it was so sad. I hid my tears for a bit, as usual, and then I let go and let them flow even allowing mum and dad notice. I had to go out of the room quite quickly, to wash my face, but at least I let them see.

I think they were warmed by it, as it showed them a part of my personality they probably didn’t think existed, and I could hear them mentioning it as I left the room.

I am a nice, caring person, I just don’t always show it with my hardened exterior and the way I muck about like a child. It has taken me a long time to realise it for myself, as I have been very harsh on myself for many years now, not even liking myself most of the time, as I haven’t known who I am and what I stand for in this life.

June Titus loves to get in on the action of my pot gardening

June Titus loves to get in on the action of my pot gardening

I do now; or at least I am getting there. I like myself now, and it shows in the way I look after myself better with eating, body care and doing things I enjoy. I am very pleased indeed that I could cry last night, as I have spent my whole life since I was six years old covering up my many tears, partly, I believe, because my emotions were invalidated as a child and partly because I want to protect myself from showing my weaknesses. That is what I think anyway.

Even if I do not talk about myself each week, I learn so much about myself from my group analytical therapy, such as how I get on with others in a group, how I react to people saying things I don’t like and I get to look deep into myself as to how I behave in the group, good and bad.

I don’t ask much of the group, I go regularly each week (nine months already!), I listen and I try to help others all the time. I am happy with my efforts, even if I may come across a little harsh at times. I am truthful, and I feel that if I am going to help others in the group, then molly coddling is not always helpful. So, I can be myself in the group too without needing to be liked or the centre of attention as I did for many years. Of course, when learning to be a counsellor, I am completely different (no advice giving or sharing my thoughts), but as a fellow patient in a group, I can make suggestions and offer my thoughts.

I am also feeling better in myself, less self aware, more self confident, and happier – I am feeling like I like myself more ‘just as I am’ and that I will have a great life ahead. 

So, be yourself is today’s message 🙂

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