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Sandra Dean – Registered Member

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My big news! I have overcome my fears and been filmed for a TV programme today!

My big news! Today was the first meeting and filming for a TV show I have agreed to be a part in. I was surprisingly calm, got off to sleep fine last night, and woke looking forward to it. I must say I have done a lot of research, so I know who I am talking to, and what the programme will be about, so that was very enjoyable, since I love research and I felt ‘prepared’ for the day. However, half hour before leaving, an irritable mood swept over me and the panic began. I felt sick, kept gong to the toilet, my stomach hurt and I felt nervous. Chris offered to take me there and pick me up later, so I quickly took him up on his generosity!

The meeting was at 11.15, but I didn’t want to do it, my nerves getting the better of me. I decided that I had to try, so in I went to meet them in a coffee shop. A quick chat and interview, as advised, turned out to be two and half hours of waiting, photo shoot, being filmed walking along, an outdoor filmed interview, and a few indoor interviews, plus a filmed ‘test’ and chat. Each time we did something in front of the camera, whilst being told to ignore it, I felt it became easier and the interviewers were relaxed and in control so it was more of a case of answering the questions fired at us rather than having to talk freely too much.

All that and three cups of tea later, it was all done, paperwork signed, expenses refunded to me, and I walked out relieved that I had done it, but also on a high from all the stress and excitement. I phoned Chris and then went shopping for his last two birthday presents. We always buy seven presents for each other for Birthday or Christmas, so now I have them all!

I cannot say what the programme is about at the moment, but it isn’t mental health sadly. However, I agreed to do it in the hope that it would boost my confidence so that I might do talks or go on TV to discuss mental health and stigma and my recovery. Fingers crossed, one day! I’ve been in newspapers and magazines talking about mental health and the radio talking about internet businesses, so now I have experienced the full package, and I can say that I am very proud of myself – not something I say very often, but even six months ago I would not have had the ability to ‘go for it!’

I don’t even care if they use my interview, it was more the taking part, overcoming my fears and proving to myself that I CAN do things that I want to do again now!

I purposefully didn’t tell anyone bar Chris and my mum and dad in case I didn’t make it but I did!  There are two or three more sessions yet, so I do hope I can get to those as well and complete the programme!

Hope you all had a great day too,

Amanda 🙂

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2 comments to My big news! I have overcome my fears and been filmed for a TV programme today!

  • David

    Well done Amanda. It’s more than I could bring myself to do. Keep it up, you’re doing wonderfully well. xx Hugs xx

    • amandagreenauthor

      Thanks David! We all have different aims and abilities so it’s just about achieving what we can day to day. You have a lot to deal with! 🙂

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