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Sandra Dean – Registered Member


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Photos of me all innocent as a child, not knowing the truth that lay ahead

Me as a child aged two and half

Me as a child aged two and half

Me around three

Me around three

Me aged about nearly four

Me aged about nearly four

me at nearly four

me at nearly four

me as a child around 3

me as a child around 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am going through a period of change due to therapy and changes in my life I cannot control; a state of confusion, but I need to deal with it as an adult, not a child. I have spent most of my life dealing with things in a child-like way even at forty as I am now, and it has worked for me as a coping mechanism, but I do need to think about my future and take responsibility, both for my relationships and myself. I already have a huge portfolio of qualifications and have worked in management yet the longest I have stayed in a job is one and half years – often because I have become bored, or the employer has done something terrible (even though I never took it to court), or I have not agreed with the employer on ethics, or I have wanted to leave to enjoy myself, etc, (usually my emotions took over and I am naturally impulsive) but it does have to stop at some point.

I have no children, but I am now dedicated to my animals, and I am in my third year at college studying Counselling. I hope I can use those skills to help others. In my psychoanalytical group, they are talking me out of the course and into a job that I already have the skills for. Writing, photography, websites and my books, as an indie author, do not earn me enough, but to take any old job instead of one that will be far more useful, interesting and challenging, is something I need to think about. What is important…

Thinking about my past work and relationship record reminded me of when I was younger and what I went through and how I was so innocent, as we all are, when a very young child, so I thought I would share some photos… When I was born I lived in my mum and dads bedroom until I was one and they could move to a bigger home. I was quiet and no problem to them at all. I cherish that. When two, three etc I would go on the bus with my mum, on her lap and just people watch quietly just as I love to do now – I was glad to know that. As I grew everything changed and I feel it was a great shame that I turned into something I didn’t like at all – indeed hated most of the time. I have battled long and hard to rid myself of negative thoughts, behaviours and outcomes, and I have come a long way. I do like and love myself once again. And I certainly love that little girl. 

I am still on that journey to better myself 🙂

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2 comments to Photos of me all innocent as a child, not knowing the truth that lay ahead

  • Kimmie

    Amanda, what a dear little dot you were, there is a gentle beauty about the child in these pictures, and it’s not hard to believe that she was (as you said) an easy child.

    I don’t know you personally Amanda, (by that I mean we have never shared ‘face to face’ contact) because actually, I do feel a personal connection, and I do feel I know enough to know (in my heart) that you still possess the same gentle beauty that is clearly evident in the face of the child in the photos.

    You show such empathy, and compassion for others, and love (such love) and compassion for animals, you really are a beautiful person….I’m so glad to know you.

    God bless, Kimmie x

    • amandagreenauthor

      Kimmie, what a wonderful comment my lovely! I feel a personal connection with you too, even without meeting and am very pleased to know you the last couple of years, and, I hope, for many more xxx

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