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Sandra Dean – Registered Member


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Single at Christmas, loneliness, helping others, helping oneself and don’t wait for New Year’s resolutions!

Christmas Grotto Amanda Green Sandra Dean

Christmas Grotto Amanda Green Sandra Dean

I have found myself saying to people how I look forward to Christmas being over. Then, today, I realised this was terribly negative and unhelpful. It’s just that I have been feeling a bit lonely and alone in my troubles. Oh yes, I might be a counsellor, but of course we all have troubles!

THEN, I went to see friends, pondered a few things, got out swimming at my local pool, and recognised a few things.

Firstly, I broke up with Michael three months ago, and while I think it’s for the best, I have been in denial, still seeing him from time to time. But, there are too many feelings still there, so although friendship sounds amazing, it is not possible. Over ten years we were together, as such.

I’ve also been busy getting my Counselling Diploma finished and setting up as a counsellor from home. I love counselling and marketing, so it’s been a dream to do.

I’ve also written and published two books in the last three months, albeit shorts, to keep myself motivated, and oh my gosh a whole new genre has been written! Psychological thrillers. I love it.

So, you might think I haven’t been wallowing, but oh my I have! I can be busy and still wallow. But, it’s selfish, and so is wishing the time away – something I never do.

So, I thought it was time to be less selfish, get myself together and be more Bridget Jones about it. Small steps though – jumping headfirst into things could be too much.

One of my friends suggested I peruse a dating site, saying it could help me feel less alone, knowing how many others’ out there are on their own too. A fellow counsellor she is, and of course she was right; there are tonnes of single people locally, and it did make me feel less alone.

So, I am done wallowing. I have been like a rabbit in headlights – emotionally dazed – but now I must move on and make something new of my life. And with that, I am going to do things for others’ not just for myself. I have some lovely little plans to make people’s days, for life is not just about taking, it’s about giving. Why wait for New Year to start resolutions eh!

And I am never alone with my cats around! Love them – they are therapy in themselves!

Merry Christmas to you, and may 2017 bring you many great things! I will be spending my day with my mum and

cats for therapy

cats for therapy

dad, and know that maybe this will be the last year my mum recognises me – vascular dementia on top of her mental health issues already! She’s OK now, but who knows what the next whole year will bring with dementia? I will be taking my cats round, and Titus will be the main man of the day, he is so loved bless him. Seeing my mum and dad’s lives change so much and to realise what they have to go through in just getting older is sad and is a reminder of how life’s biggest changes are when you reach an elderly age – saying goodbye to past hobbies, friends, family and general abilities.

And let us never forget the elderly, lonely and homeless this Christmas and those who have passed and are no longer with us to celebrate at all.

Remember that if you look after yourself first, then you can look after others. X

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