BACP Registered member

Sandra Dean – Registered Member

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Obstacles to recovery

Things that can get in the way of recovery:

BEING IN DENIAL – My biggest problem was that, although I received many therapies over the years, for my depression, I was still in denial. To me, events and my depression was everyone else’s fault except mine. Looking back over my life for real, showed me that it clearly was not. Since coming out of denial, in the past year, I have been able to eradicate depression and other symptoms I suffer with, such as paranoia and anxiety. Working on symptoms one by one was the key, but the real factor was when I stopped being in denial. Once that happens, you are able to seek the right kind of help, admit to people that you have some issues, and face it head on to fight it. I still get depressed, but I am now able to ‘nip it in the bud’ before the minutes or hours turn into days and weeks. I believe mental disorder is part of the make up of a person, therefore the goal is not to ‘get rid of all symptoms’ but to work with them in order to be able to cope with them. Living in a world of stating that everything bad that happens to you is because of other people, is never going to work. (I have many examples if you decide to take this story on – my bankruptcy, boyfriends, friends, selling my flat and jobs). NO-ONE CAN BE HELPED IF THEY ARE IN DENIAL. Once you come out of denial, you can get help, start to understand yourself and can share your burden, and help yourself to survive.

• Another major issue on getting help, particularly from the NHS and within a close circle of people, is that I ‘look alright’. But the thing is, those people don’t see me when I am indoors, suffering at times. When I go out I dress nicely and do my hair – of course I do – and I smile quite a lot through adversity so it is not surprising that people come to this conclusion too. This persona issue can very much stop you from getting help or support of any kind.

To get help you need to come to terms with your problem, take it on as your own, and then seek help, tell others so that they can help you too. Don’t be scared to tell people. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.

STIGMA – The stigma also gets in the way though as many people under-estimate the force of depression – “Oh yeah, she just needs to deal with it” they may think or say. I have had it myself from friends and family, and it makes you feel even more lonely. Education is needed to help more people understand what it really feels like to suffer with depression, and other mental health disorders, as many think individuals are making it up, because you cannot ‘see’ it. (read more about the stigma surrounding mental health issues by CLICKING HERE)

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