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Sandra Dean – Registered Member

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Myself, my books and Titus my cat – this photo tells you nothing

Sandra Dean (Amanda Green) and Titus and my books

Sandra Dean (Amanda Green) and Titus and my books

A picture speaks a thousand words so they say. I agree. But, they don’t always tell the whole truth. I just took this photo of myself, my books and Titus, my handsome, gorgeous black and white tuxedo cat! What does it tell you? I am happy? I am a successful author?

Well, I am pretty content nowadays, but I am hiding a lot of pain. Just as I got myself over the main hump of my own mental health issues, my mum began to go downhill. She then had a fall, and I wrote a poem about on here a few days ago… Anyway, this is all leading on to being one of the most difficult times of my life thus far. Not that I am complaining; not at all. In fact, due to the strength of overcoming my mental health problems, I feel stronger every day.

It is just that, recently, whilst counselling one of my clients, we discussed how they do not feel ‘real’ and true to themselves. To keep the peace with family members, they endure criticism without argument. They cannot share their true feelings, thoughts and behaviours – they feel they need to put on an act. They feel like a child in the relationship and not equal. We are working on ways to be more assertive using self respect. I have also felt like this in the past. We discussed how many people have a persona for various situations, be it work, certain family members, events etc. We live in a social system that makes us that way. Not all of us, but many. We might be more polite at work, or speak better when with those who speak well, or say we are fine when we are not. We might want to prove ourselves to our parents if they are strict and have high expectations of us, we might tell family what we think they want to hear, we might find any way to please people…

I digress? Yes, but I am sharing because I realised after taking that photo to share it on-line, that it was for a purpose and therefore is hiding all my inner pain.  There is a place and time for everything, whether in sharing written words, conversations, photos, thoughts and feelings. Although I do not put on an act these days for anyone, and am true to myself and respect myself, I don’t want to share my pain on-line (nor my political views etc), so I take a photo and smile. I prefer to share positivity, contentment and inspiration; that is what social media is for, in my mind. So, here is my photo – getting used to the idea of promoting my books at the Essex Author Extravaganza next year and being true to myself!

Happy Friday from my best friend, Titus, and I 🙂

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