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I was washing the dishes this morning, and got thinking about college and how well I feel I did in my CBT role play yesterday when I got yet another pang of self-doubt about it.
Contradictory thoughts are pretty destructive as they frustrate, confuse and even anger the person having them. On this occasion, I felt none of those, because I immediately remembered that everyone gets some sort of nerves when beginning a new role, a new job, and new life changing event occurs or any big change in their lives.
Then I remembered when I was a recruitment consultant for Manpower UK. I passed all the training with flying colours, was offered a role immediately and flourished in the role of interviewing job seekers and finding them jobs to go into, either permanent or temporary. Before I knew it I had a great little team of warehouse workers, manual workers and forklift drivers and lots of clients who gave me all their jobs to fill on first meeting. I had the gift. But, I still found myself driving the commute to work and occasionally having a surge of self-doubt run through my brain. I’d want to turn the car around and go home. I’d think about my job and try to picture myself in it and I couldn’t. I felt as though I couldn’t possibly do the job and couldn’t even remember what it is that I was doing.
I never did turn round, and once I was in the office and the phones were ringing, my clients were coming in, and I checked my diary, I was too busy to worry anymore and just found myself doing the job.
The funny thing is that, even on day one, when I had no idea what I was doing, I remember the phone ringing and I just looked at it, hoping that the other lady in the office would answer it. I turned to the regional manager who was there to welcome me in my new job, and he just urged me to pick up the phone. And there I was answering it. “Good morning, Manpower, how can I help?”
And it just went from there. In at the deep end and I succeeded.
Self-doubt is there for all of us, but the great feelings that come from taking a challenge, making a life changing decision, or anything of that nature, far outweighs the negative feelings.
And I know that I can be a good counsellor; I thrive in learning new things, and I study well. So, next time Mr Self-doubt comes knocking at my door, I’m going to tell him to hop it; and quick! 🙂
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